Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
