Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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