it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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