just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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