"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
