i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
