You're completely useless in the revolution.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
