Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
