YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
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She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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