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You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
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