my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
