What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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