I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
