your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Randomize
