Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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