You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Send help, water and tortillas.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize