So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
