you would pick up someone in the library
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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