I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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