let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
