her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
