how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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