whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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