I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
