He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
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He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
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Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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