this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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