oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I checked into jail on foursquare
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
