ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
