I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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