were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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