I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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