Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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