She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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