I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger