Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.