I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
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I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive