You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?