omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
