Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
