When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
