I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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