two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
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You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize