Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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