Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
