Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
