Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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