My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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