i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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