so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
