How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
