Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
