my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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