I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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