My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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