can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize