a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
