need another drink. this is the easiest way
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
