At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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