Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
