There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
