He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
