so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
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