i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
