if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
