Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
