Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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