we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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