What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
send nudes
from the living room?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
