try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
