I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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